


A Thousand Suns Beneath the Moon, Reflected in Your Eyes

by Cumberbatch Critter (ivelostmyspectacles)



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Love, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Post- Heavenly Fire (no real spoilers), Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-13
Updated: 2014-06-13
Packaged: 2018-02-04 12:03:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1778368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ivelostmyspectacles/pseuds/Cumberbatch%20Critter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I never shared my past with you because it's really not a pretty thing, that, but I want to be able to share my future with you, if you'll allow it."</p><p>Set a couple years post - HF. No real spoilers for HF, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Thousand Suns Beneath the Moon, Reflected in Your Eyes

The nearly full moon was reflected as a glowing orb in both of the gold-green eyes that were staring up towards it. Those slitted black eyes narrowed before Magnus folded an arm beneath his head as a cushion against the roof he was stretched out on, letting his eyelids fall closed. Balmy nights with a growing moon and a feel of an influx in power, fingers itching for magic as he drew idle minded shapes through the air with blue sparks trailing before disappearing. It took him a moment to realize that he was drawing runes that were of no use to him, a clear sign that he was spending far too much time around the Institute.

He wouldn't change it for the world.

"What are you doing up here?"

Magnus flinched slightly as the familiar voice cut the silence of the night. He had been so fixated on his thoughts and the shining orb hanging in the sky that he hadn't heard the footsteps on the ladder.

Alec smiled gently, although his blue eyes were hinted with tiredness and confusion as he sat down next to him. "Didn't want to sleep?"

Magnus shook his head. "Not particularly. I was less tired last night than I usually am. The moon's almost full, so I came to admire it."

Alec looked away from him and towards the sky. "It's beautiful."

"Yes..." Magnus tilted his head to look at Alec. "Although, all of the stars in the sky fail to shine when your eyes are all I can see."

Alec rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Shut up."

Magnus smiled, turning back towards the moon. Alec knew that he wasn't kidding when he said that. The domesticated cheesiness of the whole thing was downplayed when both parties knew that the offerer of the compliment was completely _serious_. He loved Alec's eyes. He always had a thing for blue eyes, although to a less of a degree. Alec was something different. He loved him with all of his being and, given that he had centuries of experience under his belt, he had quite a lot to love Alec with.

"Why are you up?" he asked absently. Magnus knew that the Shadowhunter had been asleep when he had slipped out of bed and grabbed his robe for a night-time ascent. "I didn't wake you, I hope."

Alec shook his head. "Nah. I just noticed you weren't there, I guess."

"My apologies," Magnus said. "I just wanted to clear my head."

Alec paused before treading on with the thought that had made him pause in the first place. "You have something you needed to clear from it?"

Magnus shook his head. The question was almost expected, really. "No, love. Just getting my thoughts in order, I guess would be a better way to phrase it."

"Oh." Alec went quiet again.

There was something still impenetrable when it came to their deepest thoughts, their emotions or something, at times like this. Magnus knew it was lingering awkwardness from what had happened years ago in their relationship, when they had gone through break-up and make-up and the stages that followed.

Alec was afraid to ask sometimes because, a lot of the time, Magnus could say honestly that he was afraid to admit.

His past, his thoughts, what he was feeling... Putting himself out there had never really been his strong suit. While Nephilim and Downworlder alike knew him as Magnus Bane, the freewheeling bisexual Warlock who wore outlandish clothes, kohl beneath his eyes and glitter on his body, it was different to the Magnus Bane he himself was familiar with. He rarely let people know that Magnus Bane.

Even with Alec, it was difficult. Even now. Sure, it came easier now more than ever, after years spent knowing the Shadowhunter and breaking his walls and having his own broken in return. But even still... Magnus didn't know for sure if they would ever be able to just _talk_ about certain things without feeling... disconnected.

Which, ultimately, led back to him getting his thoughts in order.

Alec was looking at the moon again.

Magnus tilted his head to look at him. "Alec."

Alec looked at him immediately, curiosity prickling those bright blue eyes Magnus loved so much.

"I might be jumping the gun," Magnus said, sitting up, "so you're welcome to interrupt at any time if you feel the need, but I've decided that I'm getting it out there."

Alec frowned. "Okay...?"

"Contrary to somewhat popular belief, I realize that I'm not perfect," Magnus said, keeping his eyes on Alec's face. "I've made mistakes. I've screwed up lives. For all of the ones that I saved, I probably ruined two others. I'm a Warlock, but I can't claim that I can work any magic and expect it to stick. I'm a magician who can't trust his own skills. I'm centuries older than you and I still struggle with the same decisions that you do. What's right, what's wrong. There's no dividing line, nothing there in the middle for the ones who want to walk the straight and narrow. It's a fine line between the two and... yeah, I've made mistakes."

"Everybody makes mistakes," Alec interrupted.

"Let me finish," Magnus said.

"You told me to interrupt when I felt the need," Alec retorted. "Why are you saying this, anyway?"

Magnus sighed. "Alec. Let me talk. There was a reason that I didn't want you to know about my past-"

"We already had this conversation," Alec interrupted again.

" _Alexander_ ," Magnus said lowly, fingertips blinking blue.

Alec closed his mouth but the frown on his face was deep-set.

Magnus wanted to sigh again, but he settled with pressing the heel of his hand against his forehead. "You aren't making this easy for me, are you?" He dropped his hand. "I love you. I've loved you since the day I set eyes on you. I loved you even before I met you, actually. I spent my life looking for someone to make me feel like that and you're that person. You're my special person." He smiled wryly. "But sometimes I think I'm not doing a great job at treating my special person in that special way that you should be treated. I kept secrets from you. It's been years since we met and I still have trouble confiding everything. It's just the way I am. I've been alone so long that it's a little difficult to give myself over to a person. But... even if I'm bad at that, I still really do love you."

Smiling, he leaned forward and pressed his lips against Alec's gently, allowing him to kiss back for a moment before sitting back again.

"I never shared my past with you because it's really not a pretty thing, that, but I want to be able to share my future with you, if you'll allow it." He snapped his fingers. The soft, velveteen box that materialized between his fingers was warm to the touch, almost inviting the question. "Every second, of every day, until we cease to occupy this earth. I love you, Alexander Gideon Lightwood."

He opened his palm to expose the box, gently lifting the hinged lid. Gracefully shifting one leg beneath himself to push himself to one knee, he looked up from the sparkling ring, glittering like a thousand tiny suns as the moonshine hit and reflected from its surface, to Alec's face and smiled.

Alec's face was white beneath his blue eyes and dark lashes, pitch-black bedhead bangs falling across his forehead. He was staring at the ring that Magnus had exposed like he was being sucked into the center of it. His entire body was frozen. It didn't even look like he was breathing.

"Will you marry me?" Magnus asked softly, looking at Alec through his eyelashes.

He feared rejection more than he cared to let on. He liked to love but he hated the commitment - generally. Commitments generally meant sticky situations. Commitments meant getting your heart broken or breaking a heart, whether through something ridiculous like forgetting a birthday or something large like a final break-up. Magnus hated commitments because it could easily end with rejection, and Magnus loathed rejection most of all.

If he put himself out there, at all, like he was now, it was to someone who truly mattered. And if rejection came to be because of him putting himself out there...

But he'd put all of that aside. Because, with Alexander, he wanted to try. Oh, how he wanted to try. Alexander wasn't his first, but he wanted him to be his last.

His everything, he thought with finality as he stared hopefully, and a little bit nervously, at Alec.

"... You..." Alec whispered. His voice trembled. "You... You're proposing."

Magnus licked his lips. "Yes. I am."

Alec swallowed, visibly, his Adam's Apple bobbing. He looked like he was about to be sick.

Magnus hoped it was nerves. He felt like he could be sick, too.

"You want to marry _me_?" Alec whispered. His voice had gone up an octave now, settling between flabbergasted and shocked, each word quavering with tears gleaming behind his eyes.

"Yes," Magnus repeated. "I do. More than you can ever imagine."

Alec blinked. His fingers curled into a fist before coming up to rest against his lips. He looked like he was a beat away from starting to chew on his nails again. Magnus hoped he didn't; they'd just kicked that habit of his not too long ago. Or throw up. Magnus hoped he didn't do that, either.

He just wished he'd answer, to be honest.

"Why would you want to marry _me_?" Alec whispered.

"Because I love you," Magnus said simply. How else could he explain when it was that simple? He would give the sun and moon to Alec, if he could. Instead, he'd just give him his hand and hope that it was enough.

Tears pushed over from Alec's eyes, running hot and fast down his cheeks. "Damn it," he muttered, pressing his hands against his face and scrubbing at his eyes.

Magnus smiled faintly and reached forward, taking Alec's hands. "I love you," he repeated. "Always, Alexander. Have faith in yourself... and have faith in me, too."

"I always have faith in you," Alec whispered.

Magnus felt like crying himself. It wasn't his usual forte, so it surprised him when his own throat felt heavy with emotion. "Thanks," he said.

Alec's eyes flicked to the ring, which was balanced perfectly with the aid of magic on Magnus's knee, as Magnus was now holding Alec's hands. "... Thank _you_ ," Alec whispered.

Magnus wanted to say that Alec had nothing to thank him for, that only _he_ had Alec to thank for everything, but instead, he just tipped his head in question, a silent plea for the answer to the single most important question he'd asked in his life.

"Yes," Alec whispered.

"Yes?" Magnus asked, his heart soaring to somewhere it shouldn't be and then settling back into his chest, heartbeat elevated impossibly quicker, where it belonged.

"Yes," Alec gasped, throwing his arms around Magnus's neck and burying his face into the orange satin of his robe.

Magnus could tell in the way that his arms were curled around Alec's back that Alec was crying against his chest, but he was almost positive that they were happy tears. He bit back a verbal exclamation of excitement and buried his smile into Alec's soft hair, squeezing his eyes closed to chase away any stubborn prickles of joy in his own eyes.

It was his turn to whisper "thank you" into Alec's ear, kissing his temple.

He was content enough to have Alec in his arms, as always and that would never change, and he let him calm down from the overwhelming joy (yes, it was joy, it showed on his face when he pulled away and gasped about how ridiculous it was that he was crying) for a few silent minutes where he stared up at the moon and the world bathed in its glory and he was truly, perfectly _happy_ for the first time in centuries.

"By the Angel," Alec muttered, rubbing his eyes, "what am I supposed to tell my family?"

Magnus pulled Alec's hand close. "That you're happily engaged to be married," he said, removing the ring from its box and slipping it gently onto Alec's finger.

Alec marveled at the addition of the golden, gleaming band on his finger, holding his hand up towards the moon to watch it sparkle and glitter in the light. "... Did you ask my parents?"

Magnus curled his fingers between Alec's. "Would it surprise you if I said that I did?"

Alec looked at him in wonder. "... My dad didn't kill you?"

"Actually," Magnus said, squeezing Alec's hands. "He said that he'd expected me to come to him one day. He said that if I didn't... and I wanted to marry you... he would have thought even less of me."

Alec laughed weakly. "I can't believe that he gave you permission."

Magnus's smile faltered slightly. "He didn't, really." Alec's smile fell, and Magnus pressed on. "But he told me to make you happy. He said that if I thought that marriage was what would make you happy... he told me to do what I thought was right for us. He didn't necessarily give me a blessing, but I took it as such."

Alec's smile returned. "That makes things easier... I think."

"I think it does, too." Magnus drew Alec's hand to his lips and gently kissed over the ring he'd placed there. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Alec replied, and leaned forward to capture Magnus's lips in a kiss.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm finding it really, really difficult to get back into Malec the way I used to be. Ever since they broke up, it's been a lot, _lot_ harder to write them, even in a re-established relationship. It used to be effortless, now I find the vibe's a lot difficult. That being said, I still LOVE them. They still make me giggle and 'aww' and yeah, like they used to. They're not my OTP, but they are adorable and I'm glad they found their happy ending.
> 
> Anyway, I tried to write how I thought it would have went in the book, if it had gone on past HF. I like it... and hopefully it makes other Malec shippers happy, too.
> 
> I do not own _The Mortal Instruments_ or anything affiliated with the series. Cassandra Clare owns it.  
> Thanks for reading and leave a kudo or comment if you enjoyed it! :)


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